THE PRACTICE OF CREATING A VISION FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPSWhat does it mean to “Connect to a Vision?” In this article, I will touch on three different areas for visioning: (1) self (2) partner (3) familyVISION IN RELATIONSHIPSIt’s both crucial and exciting to create a vision for yourself and for your important relationships. Imagine what you want your life to look like in the near and foreseeable future term. What are your core values? How do you want to grow? How do you want to be as a person in relationship with yourself and others? Doing this is just as important as a business becoming clear on its vision. Without one, the organization (you) wanders and is easily distracted, lacking a clear “why” to what they’re doing.However, just because we create a vision doesn’t mean it simply happens. After you create a vision, you need to continually interact with it, modify it, and align to it. Becoming good at this is a skill like any other, one that takes practice, patience, and commitment.Connecting to your vision is a lot like tuning a guitar….and that guitar is you. It gives you a reference point.<ol><li style="color: rgb(59, 59, 59);">VISION WITH YOURSELF</li></ol>Here are a few examples of a personal vision:“I envision a life full of zest, where I gift my soul the experience of being alive. I want to be happy, healthy, and live with ease, conscious of my energy expenditure and what I take in. I aspire to continue learning and growing through conscious conversations, reading, taking courses, traveling. I desire to foster love and gratitude for all life forms, intentionally including our beautiful planet, Earth. I am open to trying new things and embracing life fully, all of it. I envision living ‘in community’ with a diverse group of people who also want to grow and learn – I call this Opting In to life.”“My vision for myself is simple: I want to be kind and curious.”Or one with a little more sauciness: “I have abundant intimacy with myself, sacred primary partner,lovers, friends, and family. I am in love with life, literally. Nature is my lover, I let her hold me in her loving embrace and welcome her sensual caresses. My erotic energy is not caged inside sexuality, but able to flow like water, like soft waves swelling into and out of a luscious tropical bay. I’m able to navigate myself and others with patience, attunement, transparent communication, and grounded trust in myself. I am able to freely connect in intimacy, navigating different contexts with grace, intuitively knowing just the right dose. I’m not attached to a narrative, but genuinely co-creating pleasure and connection, presently savoring each moment. I nurture all my relationships, new and established, with ease, grace, patience, and wisdom, so they are mutually supportive and delicious. People can trust and rely on me. I am cultivating a sacred and committed primary partnership with whom I build a thriving family.”So, why does a personal vision matter?Creating and connecting to your personal vision serves as a powerful compass during both challenging times and simple times. When life’s waves crash around you, and stressors mount, grounding yourself in your vision can help you choose love over fear or frustration and experience resilience and clarity in a path forward.2. VISION WITH YOUR PARTNERThe need for a shared vision in partnership was a natural observation I made in my coaching practice. I was pleased to find that therapists and psychologists alike have written extensively on the topic. So, the steps below come from a blending of several books and theories out there.The first step is to create your own personal visions. Here are some questions to consider.How do you feel toward each other? How do you treat each other? What do you do together? What is intimacy together like?How do you manage conflict? How do you manage repair? What does co-parenting look like? How do you share life’s responsibilities? How do you support eachothers growth?Answer these questions in the present tense – as if they are happening now. For example, “We travel together.” “We trust each other.” “We laugh together.”The second step is to carve out some uninterrupted time with your partner and share these dream statements. Find the overlap. Focus for now only on the common ground you have together. Write this down. This is Draft 1. Read it out loud to each other every day for 30 days. It’s okay to make changes, this is a living and breathing piece of art you get to create and co- envision together.The third step is to apply it. For at least one decision each week, use your shared vision to help inform you of options and influence which of them you chose.2. VISION WITH YOUR FAMILYRepeat the above instructions for creating a vision with your partner, but with the members of your family who are open to doing something like this with you. It’s okay if not every member of your family is on board. Start with what you’ve got, it’s better than not starting at all. Believe me, I know from experience how challenging this can be. This is foundational to the kind of coaching I do with families.Follow the same general guidelines: First create your own vision for your family. Second, share it together and find common ground. Third, apply it on purpose.Here’s an example of leaning on both your vision for your family and your vision for yourself: “My daughter and business partner experienced a significant life-event, and suddenly left on a one-way ticket to Mexico for personal growth and exploration and self-healing. From there, she planned to travel to other South American countries, and had no clear intentions on when she was to return. Initially, this triggered emotions of concern for her safety and frustration with my perception of her abandoning our business. By connecting to my family vision, which prioritizes supporting individual growth and open communication, I was better able to accept and even understand and support her decision. And, in connecting with my vision for myself, I remembered my intention to experience life fully. This meant recognizing what was coming up for me, naming and feeling my emotions, detaching myself from expectations. I ended up having a really meaningful conversation with her before she left that emphasized my support for her growth and mine as I learned how to be open to new ways of being in business and in relationship with one another from a distance. Every life situation is a learning opportunity. To sum it up, I “opted in” to my vision for both my family and myself in order to navigate the situation.”IN CONCLUSIONIn summary, connecting to your vision is a powerful tool for building life-proof relationships. Create a vision for yourself, your partner relationship, and your family or chosen community.Take Action: 1. Define your personal vision. 2. Create a vision for your partner relationship. 3. Envision your family or chosen community’s ideal dynamics. 4. Align your choices and actions with these visions.Pro-Tip:Be patient. Creating a vision for yourself, your partner, or your family is a lot easier said than done. The intention is for this to be a constant topic of reflection, imagination, and conversation. A vision isn’t one that is written in stone, it lives and breathes as dynamically as you do. And it takes time and attention to create one that lasts.To create a vision for yourself, your partnership, and your family and practice aligning all three….this is a level of personal and intentional mastery and wizardry that is incredibly challenging. But hey, nothing worth doing is ever easy 😉By embracing these principles, you can cultivate relationships that are loving, nourishing, and dynamic.I sincerely encourage you to give this a try, it’s impact is incredibly powerful. And as always, let me know if you have questions.

THE PRACTICE OF CREATING A VISION FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Pillar Two: Connect to the Vision

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Pillar Two: Connect to the Vision

Pillar Two: Connect to the Vision

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